I’ve been finding life a little tough recently. I’m not going to launch into the whos, whats, whys and wherefores, but I’ve not been feeling on top of the world for a little while and have been having some trouble with anxiety. So, when I’m able to write this blog telling you that today I feel like Wonder Woman, it feels pretty blooming good!
Why do I feel like Wonder Woman? Well, it’s pretty simple really: today I went on a mountain bike ride on my own for the first time.
This may sound like a simple little step in the life of any keen biker, but for me this is big news. I have a mind that’s very good at playing the ‘what if’ game and it’s always managed to prevent me from venturing out on my own before. What if I get a puncture and then for some bizarre reason can’t put a tube in my tyre? What if my chain snaps and I forget how to put it together again? What if I fall off and hurt myself? What if a low-flying eagle swoops down and steals my sunglasses?? You get the picture….
When I spotted that it was going to be a beautiful, sunny Autumn day today, I decided enough was enough. The Mr was away and I hadn’t arranged a ride with friends, but I could still go riding. I’m a perfectly competent mountain biker, with the skills and ingenuity to get me out of any number of sticky situations. Besides, it’s not often you see eagles in the Mendips.
So, I packed my bike into my car, pulled on some spotty socks (which, as everyone knows, immediately turn the wearer into a kick-ass rider) and took the short journey over to the Ice Cream Van Layby, where I parked up and got ready to ride. It was a simple, five mile loop that I’ve enjoyed many times. But this time it felt more awesome, because this time I was doing it on my own. I took pride in answering the ramblers, who asked if there were any more bikes coming through. “Nope, it’s just me” I told them, with a smile. I continued to smile as I looked around, taking in the autumnal colours: the orange ferns, the yellow trees. And I smiled more as I realised that I’d done this entirely independently. I hadn’t let the what ifs get to me, I hadn’t even given them the chance to tap me on the shoulder to get my attention.
Tonight, Matthew, I’m going to be Wonder Woman!
Scone Cycling 
I just stumbled across your blog via Twitter and I really enjoyed reading this post. I know from experience, that anxiety can be so debilitating so well done you, it sounds like a great leap forward. And a fabulous ride out too! 🙂
Thanks for your message – I’m really pleased you liked my post 🙂 Anxiety really can be so rubbish, but little victories certainly help
Ok I realise I’m leaving you lots of comments! But I’m really enjoying reading through your blog. I just wanted to check something, because I’ve not ridden off-road in the Mendips yet – when you say the ice cream van layby, is that by Chew Valley Lake?
Hi there! It’s a layby on Burrington Combe – further up than Bad Ass Bikes used to be. There’s some lovely riding near there, but you’ll need to wait until it’s dry. It’s a massive clay fest otherwise!